STORY BY MAHMOOD FAZAL, PHOTOS BY CHRIS TURNER

Gathering Men invites you, for a moment, inside a circle. A safe, connected space where men express themselves freely, openly and courageously. 

“Ever since I can remember. I always wondered what was under the tarmac,” offers Brett, co-founder of Gathering Men. These days, his efforts have led him to re-imagine healthy masculinity.

In the shadow of Lalgambook, Mt Franklin, on a sprawling 100 acre property that respects the sacred Jaara Dja Dja Wurrung country, Andrew McSweeney and Brett Ellenport welcome men from all corners of their lived experiences. 

One evening, illuminated by a fire, they tackled a problem that was close to home.

“Andrew McSweeney had just come home from a funeral,” explains Brett. “At the funeral, one of his nephews asked him if there was anything they could do about this pandemic.” The funeral highlighted a brutal and often unspoken statistic; nine Australians take their own lives every day—and seven of them are male. 

Brett turned to Andrew and asked, “What would it take to get a handful of men together for a deeply connected weekend out here on country?” Brett laughs before adding, “Andrew and I have a joke. What's the most difficult job in the world? The most difficult job in the world is to get men, out on country, without any beer, or mobile phones or drugs or anything else, to talk about their feelings.”

In early 2010, while traveling the world as a creative director, Brett decided he wanted to buy some land back home in the country. “I rang Uncle Brien Nelson, he was the Dja Dja Warrung elder at the time. I wanted something that would be emblematic of the ethos we would provide there.” 

Brett was thinking about tanderrum. “It’s an East Kulin ceremony,” quips Brett. A tanderrum is a ceremony enacted by the nations of the Kulin people and other Aboriginal Victorian nations allowing safe passage and temporary access and use of land and resources by foreign people.

Uncle Brien Nelson challenged, “Why should I give you the ok to use that name? It's very spiritual and it's a very important ceremony for us.” Brett answered with his heart on his sleeve. “I spoke to him about what it was that I had imagined; that this would be a healing place. A place where we will be sharing and caring. Caring for country.”

It was the first pebble that sunk into what Brett describes as the imaginary pond, “and the ripples started.” The stories are kept secret, within the circle, “But I can tell you about my feelings. Something magical was happening. I thought, something really needed is happening here. And, and we've just begun it.”

The idea of connection represents the undercurrent of what Gathering Men offers. Connection to ourselves. Connection to one another. Connection to mother nature. Connection and respect to First Nations people. 

“Every man who rolls up to our gathering is shit scared. I can see it in their eyes. They’re terrified. Just as I was at my first gathering. But actually, they are the pebble,” explains Brett. 

“As they hit the water, they’ve connected to their inner self; the first ripple. We can't expect men to connect to their world without connecting to themselves. The next ripple out from that is connection to other men in circle. The third ripple is connecting to country. Our surroundings here, by this ancestral spirit. The old dreamings that were in the Jaara stories at the time these mountains erupted.“

Gathering Men has recently launched Gathering Women. The next offering is in Spring 2021, join in to learn how we can all tread lighter and drop deeper.

Gathering Men 

www.gatheringmen.org 

181 Lithia Lane, Shepherds Flat